A teenage child does not want to communicate - what to do?
Features of adolescence
Adolescence is a time not only for growing up, but also for the first independent assessments of what is happening around a teenager. If the majority of children used to be guided by generally accepted assessments and opinions, then in adolescence everything changes beyond recognition.
First of all, the teenager wants to know for himself “what and how”, so they become independent, rude and protected from the slightest interference of parents in their lives. But at the same time, they become vulnerable and helpless in many situations of life, and therefore seek to imitate unconditionally those who are respected and valued.
It is this contradiction that scares parents because they are afraid that they will not be able to cope with a bad influence on a teenager or will not be able to save him from any misfortune, which the teenager himself perceives as outside interference, pressure, humiliation and encroachment on his freedom.
The result of such behavior are conflicts, quarrels, scandals and insults, although they could not be if the parents tried to find a common language with their child. And it is possible. How best to do this, you will learn from this article. But remember that in order for these tips to really help you, try to listen carefully to them.
What you need to remember when communicating with a teenager
Many people believe that in adolescence a child spoils by itself and becomes stubborn, but it is not. In fact, all the complexities of adolescence do not appear by themselves, but are the result of an earlier upbringing. By the beginning of adolescence, the child was already formed as a person. Therefore, any attempt to re-educate him is useless. It had to be done before.
If you stop bringing up his bans, slaps and morals (all that you used before), then you will already take the first step towards a teenager. Remember that now bring it up too late. So no rudeness, prohibitions and punishments. It's time to build a relationship with your child in an adult way.Parents should also pay attention to the contradictions between the aspirations and the actual life skills of the adolescent.
On the one hand, a teenager strives to feel like an adult and does everything for that. But, on the other hand, he himself feels a lack of experience in some important sphere for himself. This is where the imitation of an idol is born, and at the parental glance not the most worthy one. But this is the area that can be the beginning of mutual understanding between the adolescent and his parents, if they start to cooperate with him.
First, you need to analyze what adolescent aspirations are hidden behind the imitation of one or another idol and in what spheres of life he wants to restore the gaps. For example, the imitation of girls to bright actresses and singers may reflect the search for their femininity or the desire for a beautiful, rich and free life. If a girl is looking for herself, then do not forbid her to be painted, but teach her to dress fashionably and use cosmetics. Tell me that there is an attractive in it and she will be grateful for that.
If she wants to sing, do not interfere with her desire, but find a good pop vocal teacher who will help her evaluate and develop her abilities.
Do not disturb the child with endless calls, checking the diary and endless inquiries. The more you obstruct, the stronger will be the teenager's desire to go against you. But do not take any part, too, not worth it. It is important to show a teenager that you value him, love and respect him. And the most important secret: he must understand, you wish him only good in his personal life. And then the teenager would rather listen to your advice and words.