From the life of bank employees

From the life of bank employees

homer

***
Girl, I was told that the Bank terminates the contract with me, and I must pay my entire loan immediately. But I can not. May I pay so much.
- Bring as much as you can.
- Girl, what are you doing there? Do you blacklist me ?!
- Not. So far only ACCEPT TRANSACTION.
- Wait !!! Do not! I'll bring you the full amount now.
After about two hours, she really brought in and paid in full.
***
And also the standard question of our clients: "Girl and you give a loan?"
***
Application of the client with a request to return a card captured by an ATM:
"I ask you to return the card that this vile machine has brazenly sucked!"
***
Hello, I am a member of an honorary client .....
***
I (call-center employee) - are you interested in car loans?
Woman - yes, tell me.
I am starting to list rates and conditions.
Well - do not rush so I do not have time
I - do you write?
Well - no, I think!
***
Customer:
- Whom can you do?
***
Client: "I have to ask you an intimate question: do I already have a late payment?"
***
- Girl, I would know the loan is closed or how (calls the number of credit
agreement)
- Your F.I.O.
- ....What is it?
- To whom is the contract drawn up? On you?
- Why me? No to the mother-in-law.
- Do you have a male mother-in-law?
- Yes. That is, no. Now I don’t know for sure. I'll ask her again and call you back.
***
Somehow one frame rings and asks:
- Hello young man, and you do not tell me, how many years do girls have to take from you?
(I didn’t even think about it at first, but then I understood what he was talking about)
- If you mean from how many years the bank provides a loan to female citizens, then from the age of 21 they can TAKE.
(The client confusedly thanked and apologized)
***
Visitor, Security Guard, Accountant. Talking on the phone:
Ohr: To you father:
Boo: Give him a phone:
Buh: Yes, Holy Father, what did you want?
Pos: I am not the father, I am your auditor Sergey Petrovich Batyushko !!!
Accounting crying.
***
In 2 minutes:
A: Name the contract number.
K: Wait now I'll call him.
***
And when will I know that I paid everything?
- When all pay.
- Strange.
***
-I don't have time to pay this month. Can you delay me ?!
(meant deferment of payment)
***
Customer:
- Girl, I doused the passport with eggs, but there just a little bit, can I show it?
***
Just have a colleague.
Client: "Mother-in-law, BITCH, took a loan.Where is there to pay it? "
***
A: - Think up and name a word of not less than 5 letters.
K: - Vasya
A: - "Vasya" is 4 letters, but you need at least 5 ...
K: - aaa, then Lena
A: - Lena is also 4 letters, you need at least FIVE
K: - aaaaaa, well then let's my name is Tanya
***
- Introduce youreself.
-I?
***
The Client runs in, all so disheveled, disheveled, a little woozy and apparently in a hurry. Runs up to the employee and shouts a girl .. well, there you are .. this .. find me there !!!!!
Employee: hide ...
***
From the comments of managers:
"The client found it difficult to name the place of work. He was dressed in the uniform of a police officer."
***
Client in a statement: "One day I was confused by the BES and I bought a product on credit ... ... the staff looked down on me with their lit snakes !!!!!"
***
Operator: Introduce yourself.
Client: Can you give my real name?
***
Me: Your marital status?
Customer (confident): Of course
***
Client: “I’ve zaGasila him last week, and someone calls me and says that he is still there !!!”
***
A client comes with a standard request:
- Give me the money!
- Do you want to issue a card or withdraw cash from a card already provided to you?
- I want to remove from my card.
- Activated the card? Is there a PIN?
- Yes, 19-07-1959.
- PIN code is 4 digits.
- Ah, well then GALYA ...
***
Call - "Girl, I was attacked fine! What should I do?"
***
Hello, I have a loan in some bank, is it anyway not you? (frequent question)
***
Another call:
- Girl !!! I'm calling for the third day !!! I can not with the operator !!! With no one!!!
***
In all seriousness:
- Hello, I.O., your defaulter Petrov is calling you. Tell me, am I STRONGLY EVIL ??? !!!!
***
The girl, the intern, just read "Insanity of our customers" (laughed to tears, not believing that this happens). Five minutes to her approach
customer:
- Girl, I have been using you for three years ...
Intern:
- I have only been working for a month ...
***
- Create and name a word consisting of five or more letters.
- A of six possible?
- Can.
- Alexandra...
***
Gay client got caught, asking what happened to your card?
- My card died in an unequal battle with your ATM! I could not save her !!!
***
Name three digits from five digits!
- Four fives!
There should be five digits!
- Four fives!
- The numbers could not be four! There should be five of them !!!
- Well then, THREE fives!
A curtain.
***
To the question:
- What is your citizenship?
Client replies:
- Our, well, normal ... Russian.
***
"...Young man, what do you need to show me a loan? "
(the girl asked)
***
The case was. The client fills in the form.
Manager: "Here write the loan amount in words."
Client: "Write it up, how's that?"
Manager: "Lettered."
Client: Young man, are you in your mind ??? how do I write the numbers in letters?
***
CLIENT:
- CAN YOU MAKE THE CARD?
- WHAT ARE GOING?
- NO, BUT IS IT REAL?
***
Operator: Name the contract number.
Client: Where?
A: Into the phone.
***
Dialogue with the client:
- Loan issued on you?
- No, on the fridge.
***
Explain to me how a simple suicide bomber
***
So I flew here at 23% per annum. How can I conclude a new contract ??
(interest increased to 40% per annum).
***
.. I then vaguely saw your ad.
***
Tell me, what if you use as a cell?
***
Do you have a deposit for 3 months? Do you have any periods?
***
Tell me, how can I get to your personnel agency or another body where employment issues are being addressed?
***
Hello, I am a physical person and everything is over for me (the client is an individual whose deposit has expired).
***
I had in your bank ... (pause) ... ruble deposit.
***
I lay in the Central and on Pyatnitskaya, and my friend lay in Sophia.What should we do next?
***
Tell me, will there be something reinforcing or reinforcing?
***
I heard that 6 banks, including yours, will be taken away. But we will pray to carry you.
***
Hello, are you a machine gun or a man?
***
Hello, I am your contributor - the former - not the former, but still unsatisfied.
***
I’ve talked to a boy here ... well, I don’t know, maybe he’s no longer a boy, but a man
***
Girl, hello. You're giving?
***
Tell me, if the investor, roughly speaking, died?
***
Hello. I am your old member.
***
Girl, is it you, which is my first time?
***
From the client’s statement: “I was subjected to a scam to a man I don’t know”
***
Ya. - Can I hear Andriak Muhamedovich?
A man with a Caucasian accent says: - Nat, it's not me!
***
- Girl, translate me!
- Where to transfer you?
- To find out how much I have left ...
***
Phone call. Pick up the phone:
- Can your CEO?
- Yes of course. Introduce youreself!
- why?
“He needs to know who he is talking to.”
- You do not teach me courtesy, yes. You to my courtesy to grow and grow.
I'll come right now, I'll teach you how to talk politely, n **.
***
Customer: Girl, I took you a little in the store. And what to do now, I do not know.
***
And one of my colleagues, at half past four in the morning, a Georgian called and said the following sentence:
- Switch me.

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