Communicating with teenagers - 7 tips for Orthodox parents
The sad picture is: while the children are still small, they regularly go to the temple, attend Sunday school classes. But in 12-14 years they disappear somewhere, they avoid parents. This age brings a lot of problems. How to communicate with teenagers?
Carefully, troubled teenager
The son is constantly sitting at the computer; when he goes to school and comes - with headphones, to questions about how to study, he either answers with one word “normal” or something is rude ... Yes, he also contacted an incomprehensible company - mothers, he secretly smokes ...
Or a daughter: he sits for hours at the mirror, tries on outfits, paints her lips with blood-red lipstick and draws rough black arrows on her eyes. Every day he exposes a new photo in social networks and writes to incomprehensible boys.
Two portraits are more than just sad. But, unfortunately, for many it is important. "What to do? - Asks forever fussy mom at the parish priest.“They used to go to Sunday school and now have become aggressive and withdrawn ...”
And what the priest can answer? That business has reached apogee. It was necessary to ask questions of education earlier. After all, the truth is said: the highest art of parents on earth is the upbringing of a child by a Christian.
The root of most problems between parents and adolescents is lack of attention, care and communication. But the most important question is whether you are giving the child an example of a genuine Christian life? What is the purpose of your going to the temple? What are you asking God for? Is your faith external, superficial, or is there a deeper understanding?
If you yourself get tired of your family, pay little attention to your spouse and children, constantly fussing, often annoyed, and on Sunday you barely wake up in the morning and “drag” everyone to the temple, do you not rape them? Yes, and partially?
And the children see everything: that from such a “belief” (after all, it is not faith), there is no use, you are distracted while serving, you are often inattentive ... In the church you listen and talk about one thing, but in everyday life everything turns out differently. What kind of child-rearing can we talk about?
And the teenager himself did not fully understand what they sing and what they read in the temple.Why go to church, what will it give? Unfortunately, no one spoke seriously to him. His meeting with God has not yet taken place. Did his parents take place?
7 tips for parents
The situation of communicating with adolescents and educating them in the faith is rather complicated, but not entirely hopeless. It is easy to give advice, but this is too little. Faith without works is dead. Tips without execution as well.
- Set an example of a truly Christian life for children, where there is love, attentiveness, care that will help you to endure all the sorrows, adversities, misunderstandings.
- First, study for yourself a deeper understanding of Orthodoxy, the structure of the church, the liturgics, read the Holy Scriptures with interpretations. How to teach teenagers what you yourself do not know?
- Pay more attention to the family. Build trust with your children. This is one of the components of child rearing. Be interested in their life, study, communication with friends.
- Do not impose bans without explanation. With children you need, first of all, to talk. Explain why aimless hours sitting in front of a computer is bad, what is the nature of bad habits, and so on.
- Make sure that the child has something to do and it brought pleasure. Very often, children become “unbearable” because they have no goals.They wander from side to side, from one company to another, from one opinion to the second. If the child likes to sit at the computer, write it down to a teacher of computer graphics, web design or programming; if he is constantly in headphones - offer lessons in playing the guitar. Communicating with adolescents will help identify their interests and improve relationships. Parents will no longer seem outdated and distant.
- Take a closer look at your child’s friends. Are there any Orthodox among them, Sunday school classmates? Offer them to spend their leisure time together. It does not have to be a reading of the Holy Scriptures and an unintelligible interpretation. We need to start small: watch a good movie together, get together for Christmas or Easter, sing along with a guitar, talk. It is important for teenagers to feel, on the one hand, their individuality, and on the other - belonging to a certain group. If these children are believers, then they will go together to the temple, the Sunday school, and the youths.
- Pray. The petitions of parents for their own children are especially valuable before God.
Remember what is the highest art of parents on earth. Master it with God's help.