10 phrases you should never tell your children
You are not a good boy (girl)
You can cultivate low self-esteem in him by criticizing Malsh and saying to him that he is not good. If a teenager is convinced that he is bad (stupid, fat), then trying to be good no longer makes sense.
Instead of criticizing a person, it is better to decry actions: for example, “such behavior is inappropriate” or “you can behave better”.
You yourself do not know what you say
This phrase is clearly the "killer" of children's self-esteem. Never belittle the thoughts, feelings, ideas or beliefs of a little person.
It is better to ask him again to explain to you his point of view: "why do you think that way?" or "let's discuss it».
Why are you absolutely not like your sister (brother, friend)?
Comparing children is an ideal way to start an unhealthy rivalry between them. When you voice this thought unheard, he thinks he is worse than others. And now the ground is ready for an inferiority complex, since the child compares himself with others, and clearly not in his own favor.
Let your child be yourself, praise him for good deeds, and offer help if it is difficult for him.
You are simply brilliant!
Although it sounds harmless, nonetheless, it is rather dangerous to praise (as well as underestimate) a child. It can grow a sense of superiority in him. In addition, he will rely on the praises in his honor for each step.
And if the praise is too exaggerated, the kid may doubt your sincerity. Even praise should be restrained and rational!
You should be ashamed of yourself!
Shame leads to a sense of guilt, and this is a terrible complex, aggravated with every mistake or inappropriate choice.
Even if the child did wrong, help him understand why this act is wrong.
Well, I told you so!
When a little man makes a mistake or stumbles, he is upset.
No need to rub salt on his wound, reproaching. Yes, you warned the young man in advance, but now you should not gloat. It is better to ask him not to get upset and say that you always believe in him.
Because I said so!
Do you want to be a respected and authoritative figure, not a dictator in the eyes of your son?
Remember that any decision you make must have a specific rationale. Give the child a reason why you want this to be the case, and not give him an ultimatum. Any ultimatums lead to rebellion.
I don't care what you want
Children feel hurt when we defiantly do not respect their feelings or do not pay attention to what is important to them. If you want your child to respect others, you should first respect him.
Take it seriously, do not make fun of children's emotions or opinions, and then your communication with the child will be sincere and open.
God will not let anything bad happen to us
If you are religious parents, then your child probably knows from you that God will take care of him. But it will be even better if you explain to him that God helps those who help themselves. If a baby believes that God protects him from evil, and then something bad happens, then it can lead to a crisis of faith.
The man will be puzzled why God turned away from him, or why God does not do his job well.
Do not worry. Nothing will ever happen to me (dad, grandmother)
We all want to protect and protect our children from the issues of pain, illness, suffering and death, but we are not always able to do this.It is unfair to deceive children, allowing them to be confident that their world is permanent and inviolable.
Instead of protecting them from what you are unable to protect, it is better to talk to them about your worries, anxieties and anxiety. This question requires a frank discussion, rather than maintaining illusions and fantasies.